Of Friends,Social Networks and Dunbar's Number

In the days of the present , WhatsApp, Skype , Facebook, Instagram are central to the lives of most of us. Social media has shrunk the world multi-fold - making connections and keeping in touch , one might naturally gravitate to think , should have become easier and flexible with the host  of options available to our disposal. However in reality, these connections have increasingly become weaker and fragile.

I happened to come across an interesting idea from the world of social sciences - The Dunbar Number. Essentially, its findings conclude that humans are incapable of coping up with a social circle larger than 150 people. As one research goes, the average size of modern hunter-gatherer communities, it’s been calculated, is 148.8. The average size of army companies through history, from the Romans to the USSR, comes close to around 150. And the average number of people to whom any human, from a community would convey their festive greetings ; no surprises, would again come at an approximate 153.5.

To accumulate friends to the tune of close to 1000s is in itself a violation of the law as old as humanity.One would come across innumerable instances where one might be connected on a host of social media portals yet be completely oblivious to the other's existence. Though we are virtually connected, but we seem to be still alone.

Increasingly ,we feel the need to be accepted and wowed for the "sugar coated" moments of our feigned lifestyles. We do this to gain a sense of belonging in a (virtual) world of people, more than half of which really do not matter .We have come to quantify the basis of the relationship on the number of "likes", "shares","tags"  and fancy "check-ins" .

Given the current way of life , especially in the fast paced metro cities, we have unconsciously come to develop a sense of yearning for the weekend splurge. We tend to go a bit overboard with the socializing - perhaps a means to break-free from the lack lustre routine of the 50 hour work week. And this, we think of as friendship -in the midst of all the work timelines and relationship woes.

Most of us sail the same boat and find this getaway over a beer or two as comforting and secure on realizing a similar situation with others . We have come to make do with good temporal company as an unintended replacement for the deeper connect with "Friends"only to repeat the same cycle on subsequent weekends. The same parties, the same boozing and the same fancy check-ins and updates.

Not too long before we might start missing the days of being unreachable.